Anxiety Disorder II

Contrary to what I've hoped, I still experience panic attacks here in LA. I've had hopes that I would treat my problem here, as I won't have any due dates to catch and fussy customers to deal with. So far there have been about 3 series of attacks. Once, I got it during my web-cam conference through YM with my Mom. I quickly left the laptop and let my kids chatted with her as I don't want her to worry. *sigh*. Problem is, I'm not sure what triggered these attacks. Might be because I'm quite stressed handling the kids. Harith has been very, very naughty these past few days, and often I found myself catching for breath and rubbing my chest.

Anyway, another blogger (Mr.Manager - manager of Ning Baizura) is experiencing these attacks too. He's new to this. As for me, it's been almost 5 months since the first attack (and still counting...arghhh). From his blog, I found out about the Rescue Spray. It is one of a few products concocted by Dr. Edward Bach, who recognized the need for emergency treatment for people with stressfull lives. I checked the products over the net, (you can visit the website here)and found that the products are based on natural herbs such as roses and chestnuts. So I decided to grab a bottle of Rescue Spray and a bottle of Rescue Sleep. Each cost around USD11. I'm more convinced of the 'naturality' of the products because they are sold in WholeFoods Market. WholeFoods Market only sells products which are natural and organic.

I tried Rescue Sleep on that very night. True enough, I slept like a log! No tossing and turning, and no waking up at nights. For the first time in quite a long time, I slept like a baby. My hubby had to wake ME up for sahur. Usually it's the other way around, hehe...

I haven't tried the Rescue Remedy Spray. So far, haven't got any attacks since I bought the spray. Nevertheless, Alhamdulillah....I thank God for giving me a solution for my problem. If not permanently, it's still would be very useful in emergency. You readers might not have any idea on the attacks I'm talking about, unless if you're experiencing them too. I pray to God that none of you readers, my friends and my loved ones have to suffer like I do. It's terrible to have the dying feeling hanging around your shoulder all the time. Every minute, you'll think of having a heart attack and drop dead. You know that it's not true, but your mind has a way to wander from the rational thoughts to crazy thoughts. The feeling of tightness in your chest, the heart beating like crazy, the cold sweat running all over your body contributes to that crazy thoughts. Plus I'm here in a foreign land with only my two young kids while dear hubby is at work, and there's no way of communicating with him except for YM (my phone doesn't work here except for SMSes which cost RM2 per sms...grrr).

I googled if there's any anxiety disorder specialist here in LA. Well, of course there are dozens of them. There's one who's located here in Torrance. He's running a center which deals with my kind of problem. It's called the Cognitive Behaviour Therapy Center. I know the medical cost here is rocket-high. But I still emailed him anyway, detailing a little bit of my problem, and inquired about the cost. He replied promptly, saying that my case is treatable. But of course, the cost is very high. Each session would cost USD200. I have to attend weekly sessions for about 3 to 4 months. The total cost would be around USD2500.!!! There's no way I can afford that kind of money! *Sigh*..so close, but yet so far :(

Let's just hope the Rescue Spray can help me. In the mean time, I'm trying to think positive and take things slow. Pray for me..ok. Thanks.